Quotes by Bill Watterson

A real job is a job you hate.
- Bill Watterson
Reality continues to ruin my life.
- Bill Watterson
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
- Bill Watterson
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When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
- Bill Watterson
Genius is never understood in its own time.
- Bill Watterson
It's always better to leave the party early.
- Bill Watterson
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
- Bill Watterson
From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
- Bill Watterson
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
- Bill Watterson
Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.
- Bill Watterson
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Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
- Bill Watterson
I liked things better when I didn't understand them.
- Bill Watterson
There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
- Bill Watterson
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
- Bill Watterson
I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
- Bill Watterson
Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson
I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.
- Bill Watterson
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
- Bill Watterson
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.
- Bill Watterson
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
- Bill Watterson
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
- Bill Watterson
We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
- Bill Watterson
I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.
- Bill Watterson
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
- Bill Watterson
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
- Bill Watterson
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
- Bill Watterson
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
- Bill Watterson
It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
- Bill Watterson
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
- Bill Watterson
If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
- Bill Watterson
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
- Bill Watterson
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
- Bill Watterson
Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.
- Bill Watterson
So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.
- Bill Watterson
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
- Bill Watterson
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
- Bill Watterson
Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.
- Bill Watterson
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
- Bill Watterson
That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
- Bill Watterson
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.
- Bill Watterson
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
- Bill Watterson
We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
- Bill Watterson
The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
- Bill Watterson
The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer.
- Bill Watterson
If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now 'grieving' for 'Calvin and Hobbes' would be wishing me dead.
- Bill Watterson